8 Reasons Not To Watch 50 Shades This Valentine’s Day…Or At All.

Walk away

  1. Concerned about rape culture? Reject 50 Shades of Grey.
    For those of you who are familiar with such terminology and interested in the subject, here’s some handy literature:
    http://www.addictinginfo.org/2015/02/06/50-shades-rape-culture/
    http://thestir.cafemom.com/love_sex/141169/is_50_shades_of_grey
    http://www.crushable.com/2012/07/30/entertainment/fifty-shades-of-grey-sexual-assault-bdsm-603/2/
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  2.  We’re better than that.
    Is 50 Shades really a way to celebrate love? It’s smutty Twilight fan fiction that reduces the most incredible physical manifestation of self-sacrificing love (aka the marital act, aka sex) to a mere montage of sexual manipulation, dominance, and enough repetitive footage of cotton rope to make a 1950’s laundry maid want to strangle herself.If you haven’t heard much about the book or movie and you’re interested in learning for the sake of research, this sample of incredible writing from E.L. James should tell you all you need to know. It is exactly the moral and literary caliber you’d expect out of Twilight fan fiction.
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  3. The book ends with the female protagonist bawling her eyes out on her bed because she’s realized that she’s severely emotionally attached to a sexual psychopath. Happy Valentine’s Day.
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  4. As far as I can tell by the content of her writing, it seems that E.L. James’s ability to discern lust from love is about as keen as an infant’s ability to discern its foot from food.I’m not pointing this out in an attempt to pit the author’s self-esteem, as much to call you (and E.L. James) to a higher standard. If we constantly expose ourselves to influences that confuse love and lust, we shouldn’t be surprised when such blurriness seeps over into our own understanding between them.Now’s your chance to quit while you’re ahead. At least, now’s your chance to STOP while you’re ahead and to begin the long process of “quitting” an addiction to lust in a cultured essentially founded on it.
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  5. Speaking of, what we feed our minds will compose our thoughts, words, and actions.And you, dear reader, deserve a real-life authentic love story over violent psychopathic porn. (So check out this movie instead!)
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  6. There are substantial arguments to be made that the story of Christian and Ana is really one of child abuse, domestic abuse, and that just scratches the surface.
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  7. On that note, is anyone else disturbed by how close the main characters’ names (Christian and Ana) are to a certainly recently-famed Disney couple?Probably unintentional. But still weird.
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  8. As a society, we shun violence—unless it’s an exploitative film focused on the abusive male domination of a stereotypically sexy, easy, and dense young woman in a poor attempt to celebrate “sexual freedom,” all while the invested elite stuff the profit into their pockets.
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    Occupy Wall Street, where are you?
    Radical feminists, where are you?
    Regular feminists, where are you?
    Rape victim advocates, domestic abuse advocates, mental disorder advocates, where are you?
    Families, parents, pastors, priests, principals, where are you?
    Anyone and everyone claiming to fight for life, love, and authentic, healthy relationships, WHERE ARE YOU?!Because this pornographic cultural phenomenon is an enormous threat. No, 50 Shades of Grey will not singlehandedly cause an enormous eruption of injustice and harm on its own. But 50 Shades of Grey is proof that the seeds have sprouted. Our silence is watering the sapling. Our fear is its sunlight.Whether we like it or not, we must face the truth. And the truth is this: In every literal and figurative way possible, the seeds of our culture are planted in our bedrooms. What we do with our bodies we will do with our hearts, our relationships, our culture, and our world.

    I do not want a world molded by 50 Shades of Grey. And I know I am not alone.

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3 thoughts on “8 Reasons Not To Watch 50 Shades This Valentine’s Day…Or At All.

  1. Pingback: Top 4 Reasons You Should Watch This Alternative to 50 Shades | Forest Hempen

  2. Good points, Forest.

    I noticed that every article you linked re: rape culture tries to legitimize BDSM. E.g.: “BDSM is about mutual care, mutual pleasure, and mutual respect. A healthy and safe relationship that involves BDSM requires all the things that any healthy and safe relationship requires: trust, intimacy, vulnerability, respect … And most importantly, BDSM is based on consent.” It’s almost like these people are getting paid (gee, I wonder by whom?) to shill for sexual perversions. It reminds me of how every article about the recent transgender suicide used female pronouns, and how Katy Perry sang “I Kissed a Girl and I Liked It” at the Superbowl this year. And how was I frustrated!

    It’s disheartening that much of the criticism around 50 Shades “pretty much” says, once you remove the leftist pseudo-academic fluff, “It would be okay if she enjoyed it and consented to it, but it’s not exactly clear that she does.” Actually, it would be more than okay: it would be empowering! Sign my daughter up for lessons, I want her to be empowered! It’s ironic that the one author said BDSM is about “mutual respect”, when BDSM is a capitulation to hedonism, a framework in which respect as a concept is “pretty much” meaningless.

    People may as well just come out and say it: violence is okay when there’s consent. Stop the “it’s about respect and care” shilling and say it: people do not have dignity. And it’s hard to see how love can exist as anything more than a buzzword in pop songs when people don’t have dignity. What does love mean anymore, when divorce rates are high and the #1 arguments for LGBTQ* “rights” (another misappropriation) confuse sexual perversions for love – “I love my same-sex spouse and should be able to marry him”; “trans persons and gender binary non-conformists should be able to love themselves.”

    I think you’re doing good work, Forest.

    Best,
    Todd Whitehead

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    • Thank you so much for your deep and thoughtful comment, Todd!! That is exactly what I created this blog for. (See introductory post) I must say I absolutely agree with you that BDSM is not a true expression of selfless love. I’m certainly not a proponent of BDSM in any way.

      I will clarify, for the sake of conversation, that there are two reasons I shared links that affirm BDSM:

      1) So that even people who ARE okay with BDSM and thus might defend 50SG for being a piece of widely accepted modern “literature” regarding that “type” of sex can see that the rape culture argument applies REGARDLESS of the “type” of sex. Abuse is abuse–both within BDSM circles and not.
      2) Most of the people who affirm BDSM are also people who use terms like “rape culture.” In proving my point about the rape culture, I inevitably encountered an overwhelming number of articles that affirmed BDSM.

      But I agree with you: BDSM is NOT loving. If love is simply, “to give another pleasure,” then sure, BDSM could qualify. But that isn’t what love is. Authentic love is a DECISION to “will the good of the other,” to put another person’s best interest before one’s own. (This may or may not INVOLVE good feelings, but love is not inherently a feeling. Because BDSM involves physically harming another person, it CANNOT be loving. If a person derives pleasure out of harming or being harmed, that is a serious issue. The response to that is to lovingly help the person heal, not to indulge their broken whims. We KNOW such desires must be broken because authentic love seeks always to build up, heal, and encourage life. A “love” that destroys is broken, whether those engaged realize it or not.

      It seems my points are just reiterations of yours. Thank you so much for your fruitful thought!!

      Like

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