You Might Be a Youth Minister If…

Youth ministry

  • The terms “BAE,” “basic,” and “fleek” are part of your professional vocabulary.
  • You find yourself snickering at bathroom humor.
  • Even though you’re more than 10 years removed from their culture, you still feel like you’re part of it.
  • The words “VIRTUS,” “Safe and Sacred,” and “Safe Environment” make you really glad you’re already certified.
  • Smelling like a room full of sweaty teenagers is commonplace.
  • You’ve stopped noticing the stares you get at the store when you’re shopping for work supplies.
  • You’ve been called “mom” or “dad” by a child who does not belong to you.
  • Sundays are not days of rest.
  • You find yourself purchasing card board cutouts of celebrities on your office budget.
  • By your standards, writing in bubble letters, sleeping on buses, being double-jointed, reffing kickball, and maintaining working knowledge of all popular video games are professional skills–sometimes used simultaneously.
  • The word “retreat” is more stress-inducing than relieving.
  • You play a mean game of ninja.
  • Your ability to recycle jokes would make the EPA proud.
  • You spend more time around 13-year-olds than people your own age.
  • You recognize more One Direction than you’d like to admit.
  • The words “duty,” “hard,” and “balls” are way funnier than they should be.
  • You could build a small mansion out of all of the name tags you’ve worn.
  • You are expected to complete your student loan payments approximately two years before retirement.
  • You could give a vocations talk in your sleep.
  • You relate better to kids than to their parents.
  • The idea of a 9-5 desk job terrifies you.
  • You improvise presentations for a living.
  • The most inspiring person you know is less than 16 years old.
  • The most irritating person you know is also less than 16 years old.
  • Your closest circle of friends are other youth ministers because they’re the only people who get you.
  • Playing an instrument is not only useful, it’s expected.
  • You secretly really, really, really like microphones.
  • PowerPoints are your jam, and you deserve a trophy for your use of animations.
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